Happy New Years

It's been a pretty good year for me. The weather has been so absurdly warm that I haven't had to wear a heavy jacket except when I'm working overnight. Even then, it hasn't been bad at all.

I'm not making any resolutions. Resolutions are for (1) cowards, and (2) people who make mistakes. Even if I was one of those people, I'd never admit it by making a resolution.

PS.
Narbonic is over. Sad. Irregular Webcomic seems to be finishing too, but I don't believe it. I can't believe it.

Tribond

Tribond is the worst board game I have ever played. It's like playing a single category of Jeapordy! for an hour, instead of only 5 questions. It probably isn't supposed to last an hour, but it does because the questions become hopelessly obscure in their search to actually provide enough trivia that adheres to the "three related things" rule.

Tedious and obscure, (in a bad way) trivia.

0 out of 5 Germanies.

Board Games

I have a problem: Ron Perlman (to the best of my knowledge) does not appear in any board games. It is, therefore, silly to rate them on the degree they star him.

I have a solution: I will rate board games on the degree to which they are German. As you may know, Germany is the king of board games. The system will otherwise be the same as the Ron Perlman system: 1-5 for games from Germany, 0-1 from games made in other nations, etc.

I'll have a review within a few days.

Merry X-mas

Every one.

Rocking With Stephen

Stephen Colbert's latest episode is amazing. The guest list is possibly the most impressive I've ever seen for a TV program. The show only seems to get better with time and ambition.

No Word, though. One can only assume that it would be "rock" or something.

Snow!

It is finally snowing for real. It seemed impossible that Minnesota wouldn't have a white Xmas, but this is cutting it awfully close, Jesus.

An Open Letter To Smokers

Hello, smokers. I just had to get these things off my chest:

1) You smell. All the time. Whenever you get near other people, they mentally recoil, thinking, "ugh. That guy smells awful."

2) You have no "right" to smoke, either inside or outside. Liberty is being able to do something that doesn't harm others. Second-Hand smoke is poisonous. If you smoke near me, it is as "fair" as me using an unshielded nuclear reactor near you. If you want to smoke where there is little possibility of poisoning others, fine. Go ahead.

3) Although it is commonly claimed that each cigarette you smoke will take off eleven minutes of your life, this does not mean that you will reach the magic age, then spontaneously die. It means that your decay into illness will be more rapid and begin earlier. Your skin will look like it's made of leather at the age of 35, and you will be unable to climb a flight of stairs without stopping for a breather.

4) This really doesn't have anything to do with smoking, but it needs to be said: DO NOT USE APOSTROPHES TO INDICATE PLURALITY. I don't know if smokers do this more often than non-smokers, but they shouldn't do it at all, just like non-smokers.

Rants, popular

I took my first final, and I kicked its butt. (Knew how to do every problem, and I was the first to finish.)

An informal poll indicates that roughly 30% of my audience liked my rant about CSI. This is both good and bad news. Good news: someone likes something on this blog. A new record! Bad news: CSI is the worst thing I know of. Any more rants would be like an SNL sketch, progressively less funny until it's just irritating.

This will not stop me from doing at least one more rant. I already have the victim in mind.

CSI

The television program CSI is an offense unto god and man. It is the worst abuser of science in all media, in all history, past present and future.

My favorite example of CSI's absurdity was when they found a digital photo and zoomed into a pair of glasses so much that they could make out the person who took the photo. With no loss of resolution. This photo had a million pixels, (at least) in a small fraction of someone's glasses, which were not a particularly large portion of the shot.

A friend of mine told me that they pulled a similar trick in another episode. They took a satellite image and zoomed in until they could read a license plate off the reflection of another car's chrome. This is clearly an awesome satellite photo.

There are more important problems in the show, (Crime Scene Investigators investigate crime scenes, they don't interrogate witnesses, perform arrests, etc.) but the science impossibilities are the ones that make me retch in disgust.

PS.
Although CSI abuses science the worst, Numb3rs abuses math about as much. In the eyes of the show, mathematicians are mystical priests of ultimate knowledge, and the FBI is unaware of the basic precepts of their occupation (looking for trends, collecting data, gathering evidence are all important, even without math!).

Irritating. No wonder american scientific literacy is abysmal.

Sorry

I haven't updated in a while, sorry about that.

Have you guys seen the Halo 3 trailer? Kinda neat.

Weather is crazy not-cold still. It's December, yet it's possible to go out in a light jacket.

2008 is going to be insane

The race for president looks like it's going to be crazy. Polling indicates that Hilary and Obama are supported for the Democrats, and there is no way that Obama is going to get the nomination. The Republicans like Giuliani and Mccain, and although I respect Mccain, he's unbelievably old to run for president.

This race has a good chance of having a dark horse candidate for both parties. Now that would be interesting.

Macroconstruction

Steve Jackson already linked this up, but I couldn't resist. This picture is awesome. I still count the NASA crawler as the slowest vehicle in the world, as the device pictured does not have the function of moving, it moves as part of its function.

Dead Rising

Since Dell didn't see fit to send me the game I ordered from them along with the 360, I was forced out onto the streets to get another game.

I got Dead Rising. Dead Rising is awesome.

If there's a better game of killing zombies in nearly endless variations, I haven't heard of it.

The mysterious Dell

So, I got my 360, without a game to play. Apparently, it's harder to find a 6 ounce game than a ten pound console.

The 360 looks real nice, until you see the back, and what it hooks up to. It's like messing with a Soviet Submarine.

America is a Soulless Wasteland

My God. Have you seen this website, "Levelmy360.com"?

You pay other people to increase your gamerscore for the 360. Your gamerscore DOES NOT DO ANYTHING! It's just a record of what game's you've played, and what achievements you've performed.

They will get you 5,000 points for 319.99$. This, despite the Gamespot guide: "How to get 6,000 gamerpoints easily". For 320$, you could buy the games they suggest, and the actual achievements are criminally easy. For example: You can earn 500 of the 1,000 points available in NHL 2K6 with a single shot. For football games, you can get more than half the points by telling the game to simulate playing a game.

At what point are we at, where we pay other people to trick our video games into believing that we've played them?

If you haven't seen this video...

You haven't lived.

PS.
It is freaking COLD out!

Debt

There is some theory that the National Debt is a good thing. I have never heard a good explanation for that theory. The only version I've even understood was the idea that "If the rich people are owed money by the government, then they won't lead a revolution, because they really want that money back."

That theory seems absurd to me.

Anyway, when you think of a good economy, do you think of:

a) Spain
b) Japan

The reason I bring those two nations up is because they are on opposite ends of this chart of national debts. Despite the theoretical benefits of debt, most of the crappy countries have a debt, and most of the successful countries have surpluses.

Washington

George Washington was a great man. I bet you didn't know how great.

Check out this video to find out.

This is a great example of how technology has allowed extremely small press media to exist. The video was probably created by two or three people, for little money.

Merry Thanksgiving

People called it thanksgiving, but yesterday was my Video Game Day. We played a bunch of Wii, (lots of Trauma Center, which is totally awesome), and I bought a 360 on the internet for 340$. Assuming Dell.com is not a fraudulent company, (not the safest assumption???) I should have it in less than two weeks. Cool.

A Retraction

A cowardly friend of mine has pointed out that the character in Heroes with multiple personalities actually does have a super power when she is in her alternate personality.

The fact that they didn't have the time to show this is further proof that the show doesn't have enough budget and is trying to do too many things at once.

Heroes is one of the many shows trying to capture the market share of Lost by replicating the entire feel of the show. Unfortunately, they've only mastered the part of Lost that I hate: the endless wasting of time. It's not against the rules to have non-trivial events.

No Wii for Mii

After no small amount of shopping, both local and internet, I have determined that there is no Wii to be found in my locale. Too bad. I guess I'll have to wait.

I did stop by my friend's house again to celebrate his Wii. While I was there, I snapped a picture of my Mii:

Just awesome.

Wii Jokes

The Wii is out. I was with a friend as he got it at midnight. We went to his place to play it, and I announce that it is good. Wii Sports is cool, and this Trauma Center game seems cool too.

I proudly point out that I have never composed a joke or a pun based on the Wii's name. I think there are few people who have an interest in the game community who can say that.

Heroes Sins

The (relatively) new show Heroes has three major sins:

1. Not enough budget. If you can't do convincing special effects, then there's not much point in doing a supers show, unless everyone has lame powers.

2. Too many lame powers. This also is connected to another problem: too many characters. The best unnecessary character/lame power is a woman whose super-power is having an alternate personality take over her body. The alternate personality has no powers. If I end up in a comic, I hope my power doesn't turn out to be a mental illness.

3. Soap-opera story that moves nowhere. With all of these characters, the show has to spend a bunch of time reminding you who's who in each episode. With only 44 minutes, there is very little time to deal with three or more stories. Also, the stories they tell are kinda lame. Shows about supers are supposed to be about Supers, not lamers.

PS.
There is one other sin: they used the "silent child ominously being silent and revealing something important". How lazy.

No Hope

The last third of the latest episode of South Park, Stanley's Cup, is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. I had difficulty breathing. You win, South Park.

Marketing

Microsoft/Bungie has a good marketing campaign right now. They are handing out a small amount of information every other day about Halo 3. They have a semi-exclusive deal with EGM at the moment, where EGM is the only (American) magazine to get Halo 3 details.

I have realized that this is probably not coincidentally timed to cover the entire release of the PS3 and Wii. With two new consoles coming out, EGM's cover story shows a Halo Spartan.

It's as though Microsoft is jingling its keys in your vision, saying "Hey! Don't look over there! Look at the 360! Shiny!" Sure, Halo 3 won't be out for at least half a year, but that's the best thing the 360 has.

Consoles

When I found out that Call of Duty 3 wouldn't be released for the PC, I was dismayed. I get all of my German-hunting release from playing CoD at friends' houses. Now, it seems that I will have to buy a console to kill some Nazis.

Despite reassurances, I don't feel comfortable with playing an FPS on the Wii. (Which I do intend to buy upon its release). Also, it looks pretty ugly on the latest Nintendo console.

This left me with the 360, which I had previously decided not to buy until a price drop, or the release of Halo 3, whichever came first. For about a week, I had a wicked urge to pick one up. Fortunately it passed, and I have re-committed to waiting it out.

Note that the PS3 never once entered my mind as an option. The entire thing just seems absurd now.

Terrifying

I don't want to scare you, so I'm going to phrase this carefully.

The latest American Dad wasn't 100% worthless. There were two, possibly three jokes that were actually funny.

Breathe. It was probably just a mistake.

Wii Woe

I am looking forward to the Wii. I expect that Wii sports will be good. I do wonder why in the world they are not starting off with a ping-pong game. If there was ever a game that could be played with the Wii, it's ping-pong. You would need to have a LAN hookup to do it justice, but that's true of most games.

Post-Election

The election's over, and I think we got a pretty good result. It's best when there's more than one party in power. That means that there has to be some level of debate over most issues. The congress will still probably be willing to give itself a raise without too much debate, but that's almost unavoidable.

Locally, the Transportation Amendment passed, and I am not pleased. The law is poorly written, and using the constitution to change the funding of transportation seems like a bad idea to me. I do approve of funding public transportation, but this is just the wrong way to do it.

Wii

The Wii is coming out soon, and there's a little detail that gets under my skin.

From the 'Pedia:

According to the Nintendo Style Guide: A Guide to the Proper Usage of Some of Nintendo's Products:

It is simply Wii, not Nintendo Wii. It is pronounced "we", indicating its all-inclusive nature. The name works best at the beginning of declarative statements. For clarity, it is best to avoid passive verbs and prepositions.

So, it's not the "Nintendo Wii". South Park's usage hasn't improved matters.

Tales From The BattleField (2)

The game I've been playing the most lately (other than Meteos) is Battlefield 2. It has the vast bot armies of the Star Wars shooters Battlefront, but the AI is much better, and there are guns that don't totally suck. (When it comes to shooting people, Star Wars has to be the worst setting of all time.)

One of my favorite things to do is fly aircraft. This does not include Landing aircraft. That part is rather hard. I've never even tried to land a jet.

I don't shoot people with aircraft either, so you may wonder what the point is. It's quite simple. The point is to jump out of a moving aircraft that costs millions of dollars, deploy your 'chute, and watch that sucker careen into the side of a mountain. Makes me laugh every time. It also gets you to the fight faster.

My favorite aircraft story is when a friend bailed out of a helicopter, every thing was normal. He started marching toward the nearest flag. He suddenly noticed that the helicopter was awfully close to him. Somehow, it ended up turning around and landing on his head as it crashed.

Good times.

Voting

A bunch of you out there may wonder whether it is worth your time to vote. There is actually a simple process to determine just that.

First, calculate the value of your candidate winning.

Then, multiply that value by the chance that your vote will decide the election in favor of your candidate. (0%).

Then, deduct the value of the inconvenience of the voting system.

If the resultant number is positive, then it is worth your effort to vote. If it is zero, then it is still technically worth it. If it's negative, then you're better off staying at home.

PS.
Despite all that, I do intend to vote. I was reviewing the candidates for governor at a website when I stumbled onto a candidate for the "stop raising our taxes" party. I didn't understand it at first, but when I did, I was truly impressed.

The Republicans (probably) have placed an attack ad in the ballot.

It's brilliant. One final reminder that the Democrat raised taxes, a crime so hideous that nothing else matters. I wonder why there's no candidate for the "The Bush Administration, which Republicans support, is being torn apart under the weight of its scandal and corruption" party.

There's probably a word limit.

Two Things

1. Saddam Hussein has been sentenced to death. Personally, I think that's a mistake. A person rotting in jail is less romantic than a martyr.

2. This Video (Based on a segment of 8-Bit Theater) is awesome.

Dropkick Murphys

Have you ever noticed that the Dropkick Murphys suck? Hard?

They're like a untalented ripoff of Flogging Molly. Now, a friend of mine pointed out that they started before Flogging Molly. Well, they still suck.

Tripli-Pope

One of my favorite events in history is the Papal Schism.

In 1378, the Pope died. The College of Cardinals elected another one. They quickly decided that they didn't like this new Pope, so they announced that he wasn't a real Pope, electing another one to stand in his place.

The first Pope didn't care for this, and had no intention of giving up his position. Two Popes each held spiritual dominion over half of Europe, both excommunicating the other half of the continent. The College of Cardinals decided that both Popes should resign, and another one should be elected.

Unfortunately for the Catholic church, neither Pope backed down, and the College of Cardinals elected their new Pope anyway. The world had three Popes at once.

Really, what could be better than that? How totally crazy. The most amazing part is that despite all the ridiculous stuff in its history, the Catholic church is till one of the most powerful institutions in the world.

Dairy

I'm irritated by the so-called dairy "food group", or whatever they call it since the latest food pyramid. The idea that humans need the highly processed food generated by only a few domesticated animals is absurd.

The domestication of animals is a relatively recent phenomena. Did humans somehow evolve a dependence on a substance they only recently gained access too?

Halloween

Happy Halloween, everyone. I couldn't think of a costume this year, despite thinking about it for over a month. Nothing felt 'right' to me. Also, I don't have anywhere to wear it, but that's a different issue entirely.

PS. I know some people spell it "Hallowe'en", but that's just ridiculous. it's like someone writing "ne'er" instead of never.

Cat Hunter

Driving home, I see an animal on the side of the road. Turns out, it's our cat Houdini. He was about a mile from home, or 3,000 feet as the crow flies (Thanks, Google Maps!). He must have an enourmous territory; He's been spotted about a mile in another direction, too. It's really no wonder that he's the one that has been hit by a car. (He's OK now, by the way.)

Firefox 2.0

It's here! Firefox two. I didn't realize it was available for a while, as Firefox usually pins you down and forces you to accept the update. The idea of voluntarily pursuing an update was very strange.

So far, I don't see a lot of changes. Individual tabs have kill keys, and it has a little different look.

Great Firefox Tool

I just recently found a great tool for firefox. Do you use a search engine often? If so, try right-clicking in the area that you type into. One of the options should say, "add a keyword to this search". Click that. Give it a simple, easy to type keyword, and any random name.

Next time you want to do a search, just type in the keyword into the regular browser bar, press space, then type whatever it is you're searching for.

Ex. I do a lot of Wikipedia searches. I set the Wikipedia search function to "wp". If I want to read about The Green Lantern, I just type "wp Green lantern", and it takes me there instantly.

This works for anything with a search bar. I use it for Wikipedia and Mininova, but I bet there are other things I'll use it for soon, since search bars are so commonly used on the Internet.

Sieges != good

I've been reading The Story Of Civilization for some time now. It's pretty good. There are two recurring themes:

1) If you really want to see a piece of exquisite art, then it was blown up in WWII.

2) Sieges are really bad. Even though you probably think they're really bad, they're probably much worse than you think. In various sieges people have eaten dogs, horses, glue, books, the recently dead, and corpses long buried. In other words, don't get into a siege. You'll just end up dead or eating something that you shouldn't be eating.

PS3 additional shortage

The PS3 might not be able to live up to its own unimpressive standards. At least when it comes to producing enough copies of the system. We have seen this before! This is either a cynical ploy, or Sony is a completely non-functional company. I can understand it happening once, but this happens every time.

Pick a Word, any Word

Quick, think of a word. Completely at random. Put that word in the comments section now. I'll explain later.

Note-Taking Is An Important Skill

I thought I would share the notes I took during a class I attended today. (These are the entirety of my notes.)

The Contents Of My Notes:

A picture of a robot.
Another picture of the same robot, with a smaller version of that robot inside it.
A drawing of a cat.
A few attempts at trying to draw a mole's claws.
A large "W?"

-Next Page-

Headline: "The Beat is Technotronic"
Seven dancing stick figures.
A drawing of a guy being stuck by lightning.
A guy with a sword and shield
A bunch of lines that sort of form a maze.
A stick figure sitting at a desk saying, "hur hur hur."
"The Big O!!! notation"
"Big-ooooooooh!"
"student discount at iPod store?"
"Dralnu combos"

So, you can tell that I learned a lot in that class.

The DotAssy

I have played Defense of the Ancients, (DotA), on three seperate occasions. Although it is moderately enjoyable, I can no longer play it. Here's why.

(Warning: If you do not want to be confronted with just about the worst thing ever, do not click that link!)

I really can't imagine something sadder. Not only is the song poor in musical quality, it also has terrible and idiotic lyrics. I want to rag on it some more, but it actually hurts me just to think about it.

Terraforming Mars

As you may know, Mars, despite being the best candidate for colonization in our solar system, is pretty inhospitable. In comparison to Earth, it has very little mass, (only about 11%) which means very little gravity.

The low gravity also means that little atmosphere clings to the planet, essentially none of which is oxygen. Also, there is essentially no water that we know of.

So what are we to do? Terraform! All we have to do is crash an almost endless procession of asteroids into the planet, adding mass and water. After doing that for a century, we could start atmosphere 'factories' designed to change the crappy atmosphere of Mars into a nice Oxygen/Nitrogen affair.

There are simpler ways to terraform a planet, and it would be possible to live there today if we were willing to live under domes. But why settle for less?

Comment Moderation

It turns out that bots have been putting comments in this blog in the hopes of increasing their hitcount indirectly. Due to this spamming, I have introduced 'comment moderation'. If you want to post something, the process is the same. The only difference is that I have to approve anything before it reaches the comments section.

There is another option, where the poster would have to identify some letters on a page, and I wouldn't need to confirm anything. If you prefer that version, I can change it easily.

VLC Media Player

If you view media, you should be using the VLC media player. A quick google search should turn it up. It's compatible with everything but Real Media player, but that stuff sucks hard anyway.

Edit:

Here's a link.

Lost, Season III

As Lost fans surely know, episode 1 of season III aired on Wednesday.

Apparently, we're supposed to believe that these people used to living in a modern city all have tracking at 25 or higher.

The fact that they had some degree of connection to the rest of the world was clear in season one, as they had a gas-powered boat. You just can't have gas like that without trade with the rest of the world.

Lamest Character

I think the lamest character I've seen for a long time would be General Greivous from Star Wars. What a terrible name. I mean, General Grievous? Also, four lightsabres?

David Morgan-Mar called that years ago.

It's too bad that Lucas doesn't have any plans to make more Star Wars movies. We could see the ultimate evolution of the lightsabre: a lightsabre with lightsabres instead of a blade. Those smaller lightsabres would, in turn, have more lightsabres instead of their blades, and so on.

That way we have infinite lightsabres in a finite amount of space.

Halfway thru this post, it became a thinly veiled excuse to write the word 'lightsabre' over and over again. Lightsabre.

A Defense Of iTunes

I am making this post to help out iTunes, whose stock has surely plummeted since my earlier critique of it. Since the patch, iTunes runs quite a bit faster, and has solved my big objections. In fact, you can solve several of the problems yourself with the preferences section. Hate the iTunes store? I know I do. It's possible to disable it.

Ultra Summary: Family Guy

In the spirit of the thing, I have decided to do an Ultra Summary of Family Guy in the style of the show.

Family Guy, the Ultra Summary

Interchangeable character: Do you remember that time someone was really, really drunk? And it was funny, THE FIRST TIME!?

Interchangeable character: Yeah, and do you remember the time that someone hurt someone else, realized what he'd done, then backed slowly out of the room? And it was funny, THE FIRST TIME!?

Interchangeable character: And do you remember the time someone fell down really fast, breaking something? And it was funny, THE FIRST TIME!?

Interchangeable character: Don't forget the time that someone had a bizarre relationship to a TV icon from the 70's or 80's! And it wasn't really that funny, even the first time.

Interchangeable character: And there was the time that the episode was too short, so a scene went on forever. It was kinda funny, because no one really wastes time like that in a show. The lack of jokes was a joke! And it was funny, THE FIRST TIME!

Seth Mcfarlane: I am a genius. OOH! I just got the best idea! A song from the 80's! I'll have a character sing it for no particular reason! Then, right when they're rolling in the aisles, someone will fall down! HAHAHAHAHA! This stuff never gets old!

~The End~

PS. I was somewhat reluctant to write a family guy joke, as South Park had reamed them so well. Then I did it anyway.

Screw you, Pistol Lovers

The pistol from the original Halo was bad. It is obviously too powerful for a starting weapon. It reduced Halo multiplayer to a four weapon contest: the sniper rifle for extreme distance, the shotgun and Rocket Launcher for very close fights, and the pistol for everything else.

They will never make another pistol, or anything of its power level. And that's a good thing.

Time Travel

Suppose for a moment you could time travel. Lamers ask, "Whom would you meet?" Cool people ask, "Whom would you kill?"

If you could go back in time, and could only use it to kill a historical figure, who would it be, and at what part of his/her life would you do it?

I suspect that "Hitler; before he killed everybody." will be a popular answer.

Dayyyyyuuuummmm...

Check this out. Just click the link! Now! (Or, you could save to disk. That would actually be better, come to think about it.)

Awesome.

Everything I need to know I learned from watching Lost

Lost Rule #1: Never, ever, give any information to anyone, for any reason.

There are some exceptions to this. If you're talking with an enemy, you can feel free to give them all the information you know.

If you're talking to someone you like, though, the process is a little bit tougher. The only allowable way of transmitting information is to offhandedly allude to it. When someone asks what you mean, you have to act like it isn't important. Later, when they ask again, you can explain what you meant.

Everything I Need To Know I Learned From Watching Lost

Lost Rule #2: If you're going to do something, anything, make sure to bring someone along with you. Don't plan or think about it. Just look around and grab the nearest person, or the person least fit to help you. They might ask you why, so here's some key explanations:

1. "We need an extra pair of hands."
2. "I'm a shameless cocktease." (lookin' at you, Kate!)
3. "You can make up for the time you totally screwed up the last expedition."

PS3 Chip Shortage! Gasp!

PS3 announced a while ago that they were suffering from a chip shortage, and that they would be short on PS3s when the product finally launched. What a coincidence that this happen with every console that Sony releases.

I feel that I can predict the future, as, before I even knew the name of the PS3, (By the way, what an awesome name.) I was predicting that they would have a "chip shortage".

They know how the market works, and they are shameless about exploiting it.

Doesn't really affect me though, as I intend to get a Wii, and maybe a 360 around then so as to play Halo 3.

BlueTunes

iTunes is blue now. The only other difference, as far as I can tell, is that it loads up slower. Quite a bit slower, actually. I'm actually typing this up as I wait for it to start.

There it goes.

Anyway, iTunes becomes the most system intensive after you close it, for about a minute. It's rather strange.

Everything I Need To Know I Learned From Watching Lost

Lost Rule #3: If you're doing anything more exciting than talking about the weather, you should probably point a gun at whoever you're talking to. It shows that you're serious.

Everything I Need To Know I Learned From Watching Lost

Lost Rule #4: Anyone can knock anyone else out by hitting them in the head. This will never cause anything but a headache, if that.

The Stephen Colbert Hid

Stephen Colbert won the vote. The world has gone completely mad, or it has finally got a sense of humour.

That, or a relatively poorly known country has decided to ride the coattails of the host of a Comedy Central program.

Personally, I'm in favor of the "world gone mad" theory.

The Pope: "Violence Used to Spread Religion"

So, the Pope's in hot water for claiming that Muslims used violence to spread their religion during the early days of their faith. What a strange thing to say.

In their early days, all religions have to use violence, just to avoid getting their butts kicked. If they want to spread, it is completely necessary to use violence. If you read the Old Testament, it seems that the early Jews did little other than run around and kill people of competing faith.

Anyway, it is a little tasteless to point out Islam's violent proclivities without pointing out that it's as common as dishwater. He is the Pope though, it's not as though he's going to start ragging on Christianity for being violent.

In the words of Stephen Colbert, don't mess with this guy. You know how powerful popes are, just imagine how powerful a Nazi Pope must be.

Watch This

This is a great video celebrating Stephen Colbert, and America.

Santa has no Elves

Santa's helpers are clearly not elves. Santa's helpers are gnomes.

The End.

100 Posts!

Hooray, I have made 100 posts to this weblog. In celebration, I will alienate any of you that actually still go here by linking you to something that will make you hate me.

This is the greatest thing in the history of files.

Lost, Season II

I finally got Lost season II. I have a new theory about the show: the people who made it have no plan.

It's my understanding that these are the same people who made Twin Peaks; they also didn't have a plan for it, although they claimed they did.

Anyway, the director has openly stated that psychic powers exist, and once you allow magic, it's impossible to guess what's going on. Unless it fits into some larger framework.

Back In Class

Well, the worst part of the year is here. School has begun again, and its end is so far away it is out of sight. Yet again we suffer thru the endless, tedious sessions, waiting for time to pass.

I think that if I were not employed thru the school, I wouldn't stay at the U. It is an exercise in staying awake, and little of it contributes to my actual education. I think I learn more out of class than in it.

Character #4: Solved

So, after a whole lot of pestering, someone finally got around to solving character #4. Congratulations, Jeff.

Character #3 remains unsolved.

I'll have another character up soon.

R.I.P.

The Crocodile Hunter is dead.

Steve Erwin seemed to be a fun guy, and now he's dead. Surprisingly, not killed by a crocodile, but by a stingray. I think we can use this moment to rededicate ourselves to environmentalism.

I like Pasta

I like Pasta products. These include Vermicelli and Ramen Noodles. I find them to be tasty.

Awwww....

Apparently, no one reads my blog anymore. I have a new character up, and I thought it was pretty easy. Not one guess.

: (

Sweden

My parents have gone to Sweden for a week and a half. I was assured that they would contact me (via e-mail) as soon as they were able. It has been three days now, with no word. I have a vague suspicion that their trip may be more permanent than they described to me.

Character #4

Name: XXXXXX


Attributes [15]
ST 9 [-10]
DX 8 [-40]
IQ 15 [100]
HT 9 [-10]


TL: 7 [0]

Languages: English (Native) [0]; Yiddish (Native) [6].

Advantages [38]
Absolute Timing [2]
Photographic Memory [10]
Reputation (Celebrity) (4) (10 or less; Large class) [5]
Status (1) [5]
Wealth (Comfortable) [10]

Disadvantages [-27]
Bad Sight (Nearsighted) (Glasses) [-10]
Compulsive Behavior (Writing) (-1) (9 or less) [-7]
Phobia (Acrophobia: Heights) (12 or less) [-10]

Quirks [-4]
Afraid of Needles and Blood [-1]
Alcohol Intolerance [-1]
Likes Small, Enclosed Spaces [-1]
Proud [-1]

Skills [55]
Astronomy/TL7 IQ/H - IQ-2 13 [1]
Biology/TL7 (Earthlike) IQ/VH - IQ-3 12 [1]
Chemistry/TL7 IQ/H - IQ+1 16 [8]
Connoisseur (Literature) IQ/A - IQ+0 15 [1]
Connoisseur (Music) IQ/A - IQ-1 14 [1]
Driving/TL7 (Automobile) DX/A - DX+2 10 [1]
Geology/TL7 (Earthlike) IQ/H - IQ-2 13 [1]
History (Ancient Greece) IQ/H - IQ-1 14 [2]
History (Ancient Rome) IQ/H - IQ-1 14 [2]
History (Biblical) IQ/H - IQ-1 14 [2]
History (Science) IQ/H - IQ-2 13 [1]
Mathematics/TL7 (Applied) IQ/H - IQ-2 13 [1]
Mathematics/TL7 (Computer Science) IQ/H - IQ-1 14 [2]
Naturalist (Earth) IQ/H - IQ-2 13 [1]
Public Speaking IQ/A - IQ+1 16 [4]
Singing HT/E - HT+2 11 [4]
Sociology IQ/H - IQ-1 14 [2]
Soldier/TL6 IQ/A - IQ-1 14 [1]
Teaching IQ/A - IQ-1 14 [1]
Theology (Christian) IQ/H - IQ-2 13 [1]
Theology (Judeaic) IQ/H - IQ-2 13 [1]
Typing DX/E - DX+8 16 [4]
Writing IQ/A - IQ+3 18 [12]

Does it Work? Don't Ask the Salesman!

What gets me about the news is that they placidly accept whatever an authority figure says. If there are two authority figures involved, they let both have a soundbite. There's no concern about what is true.

For example: Is Depleted Uranium dangerous? Authorities say no. some crackpots say yes.

The news does no research into the matter, they just repeat the positions of the two sides. Worst of all, they seem unconcerned that both sides have an obvious agenda. (The military wants to keep using DU regardless of whether it causes cancer, and the "crackpots" want medical care for their cancer.)

Promotions Lost

So I didn't get that promotion. Too bad. Apparently, I didn't do good enough on the written test. That test really puts too much emphasis on knowledge of St. Paul.

It's not that bad, I'll live.

Moving in Minneapolis

It's strange looking for a place in Minneapolis. The owners don't try to sell you the place, because they know someone will end up getting it. Their general approach is to show you the place, and tell you its price. If you don't like it, someone else will get it soon.

Concerning character #3, I'm raising the bounty to 2 character points, due to the difficulty.

Character #3

If you guys solve this one fast, I'll be jiggered.

Make sure that you know the rules before you respond!

Name: XXXXXX

Attributes [20]
ST 10
DX 10
IQ 11 [20]
HT 10


Social Background
TL: 8 [0]

Languages:
English (Native) [0]

Advantages [50]
Gadgeteer (Quick) [50]

Disadvantages [-67]
Alcoholism [-15]
Bully (12 or less) [-10]
Compulsive Lying (12 or less) [-15]
Enemy (XXXXXX) (Less powerful than the PC) (Rival; 9 or less) [-2]
Odious Personal Habit (Cruel to Animals) (-2) [-10]
Reputation (Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know) (-2) (Small Group Of People; All the time) [-5]
Workaholic [-5]

Skills [33]
Driving/TL8 (Automobile) DX/A - DX+0 10 [2]
Engineer/TL8 (Small Arms) IQ/H - IQ-1 10 [2]
Engineer/TL8 (Automobile) IQ/H - IQ+1 12 [8]
Explosives/TL8 (Demolition) IQ/A - IQ+1 12 [4]
Fast-Talk IQ/A - IQ+3 14 [12]
Mathematics/TL8 (Applied) IQ/H - IQ-2 9 [1]
Mechanic/TL8 (Automobile) IQ/A - IQ-1 10 [1]
Throwing DX/A - DX+0 10 [2]
Traps/TL8 IQ/A - IQ-1 10 [1]

Broken Promises

So I showed Eric that another character was up. My bad. (Congrats on getting is so fast, by the way.) Anyway, the next entry will have no forewarning. I assure you. Again.

Character #2

Before you try to answer this one, make sure you know the new rules for guessing.

This one is quite a bit more tricky, so try to stretch your imagination, or whatever it is you do to get ideas. It's also a little deceptive, so be clever.

Name: XXXXXX

Attributes [60]
ST 10
DX 10
IQ 12 [40]
HT 10

HP 10
Will 16 [20]
Per 12
FP 10

Social Background
TL: 8 [0]
Cultural Familiarities: Western [0]
Languages: English (Native) [0].

Advantages [20]
Charisma (1) [5]
Fit [5]
High Pain Threshold [10]

Disadvantages [-45]
Delusion (XXXXXX) (Major) [-10]
Incurious (12 or less) [-5]
Insomniac (Severe) [-15]
XXXXXX (12 or less) [-15]

Quirks [-2]
Distractible [-1]
Dreamer [-1]

Skills [7]
Brawling DX/E - DX+0 10 [1]
Cooking IQ/A - IQ-1 11 [1]
Professional Skill (Claims Adjusting) IQ/A - IQ+1 13 [4]
Wrestling DX/A - DX-1 9 [1]

Rules Changes

A rule change: You can guess as often as you like, but you must either wait for an hour, or for someone else to make a guess. I don't want someone guessing a dozen people before anyone else even sees it.

The rest of the rules are Here, for those that haven't seen them yet.

We have a winner!

Well, it looks like Jeff has already won, and pretty fast if I say so myself.

Next time, I won't be giving any advance notice about when the character will be posted, so it won't be answered so quickly, I think.

The First Challenge

Here's the first character. Put your guess in the comments section, and make sure to sign it in such a way that I know who you are!

Name: XXXXXX

Attributes [40]
ST 9 [-10]
DX 10
IQ 12 [40]
HT 10

HP 9
Will 12
Per 14 [10]
FP 10

Basic Speed 5
Basic Move 5

Ground Move 5

Social Background
TL: 7 [0]
Cultural Familiarities:
Languages: Arabic [4]; Cantonese [4]; Dutch [4]; English (Native) [0]; Finnish [4]; German [4]; Mandarin [4]; Mayan [4]; Mongolian [4]; Spanish [4].

Advantages [291]
Business Acumen (4) [40]
Language Talent [10]
Permeation (Treasure) (Rare) [5]
Wealth (Multimillionaire 6) [200]

Disadvantages [-33]
Bad Temper (12 or less) [-10]
Enemy (XXXXXX) (Equal in power to the PC) (6 or less; Rival) [-3]
Jealousy [-10]
Miserliness (Spends Freely In Pursuit of More Wealth) (15 or less) [-5]
Pacifism (Reluctant Killer) [-5]

Skills [51]
Climbing DX/A - DX-1 9 [1]
Connoisseur (Visual Arts) IQ/A - IQ-1 11 [1]
Current Affairs/TL7 (Business) IQ/E - IQ+1 13 [2]
Economics IQ/H - IQ+5 17 [1]
includes: +4 from 'Business Acumen'
Finance IQ/H - IQ+8 20 [19]
includes: +4 from 'Business Acumen'
Hiking HT/A - HT-1 9 [1]
History (Ancient) IQ/H - IQ-2 10 [1]
Merchant IQ/A - IQ+8 20 [16]
includes: +4 from 'Business Acumen'
Navigation/TL7 (Land) IQ/A - IQ-1 11 [1]
Navigation/TL7 (Sea) IQ/A - IQ-1 11 [1]
Savoir-Faire (High Society) IQ/E - IQ+0 12 [1]
Survival (Jungle) Per/A - Per-1 13 [1]
Swimming HT/E - HT+2 12 [4]
Tracking Per/A - Per-1 13 [1]

The Contest!

I have designed a contest. Its premise is simple: I will write up a character in GURPS terms, and my loyal readers will attempt to decipher who it is. The first person to respond with the correct name in the 'comments' section of that post will win a character point.

Obviously, I will skip any proper nouns in the write-up that would make the game winnable with a simple google search. Also, my write-ups won't be perfect, so feel free to guess things that aren't perfectly in accordance with your view of the character.

The characters can be from history, modern times, mythology, modern fiction, or popular culture. They can be well known, or very obscure. Keep in mind that some characters could have a completely different character sheet at different times in their lives.

I plan to have the first character up later today or tomorrow, then I plan to put one up roughly once a week.

Back and Stanky

I'm back from the BWCA. While I was there, I thought of a cool thing to do with the blog. I'll have the details soon, but rest assured: it's cool.

BWCA

I am heading out to the Boundary Waters Canoe Area. I'm leaving on Sunday, so today is my last day in civilization for a while. I'll be gone until Thursday, so try to get by without me, everyone.

I know you are all utterly dependent on this weblog, but try to get by without any updates for a few days.

Promotion

I'm going for a promotion today. I give a five minute speech, then I take a written test. Wish me luck!

Movin' Out

I am moving out of my place at Melrose Apartments (not Melrose Place). Instead, I am going to a place all my own. I will have a personal refrigerator and oven in my own kitchen. Calling it a kitchen is an exaggeration, but so it goes. Later, I'll provide photos of the new place.

Venture Bros. Vs Screw-on Head

So, the 'best show on TV' award belongs to Venture Bros. or The amazing Screw-On Head. If Screw-On Head has another episode, I'll give it my vote.

There are a few similarities between the two shows:

Both are cartoons.

Both are parodies of the 'super' genre.

Both have a relatively low budget.

Both are on non-major channels (Sci-fi and Cartoon network, respectively).

What does this tell us? Shows don't need money to be good, and there's nothing about the 'major' channels that makes them better than the fringe channels. All a show needs is talented people putting their best into a product.

The Amazing Screw On Head

The Amazing Screw On Head is the greatest show I have ever seen. You can see the first episode for free, on the internet, whenever you want. I suggest you watch it 24 hours a day, every day, until the next episode comes out.

What is up with people?

I've been wearing a shirt inside out for hours, and no one told me. It's not like it wasn't obvious, it has a white tag on a black shirt. I asked someone if I had ice cream on my nose from eating some, and he helped me with that. Apparently, the entire "shirt inside out" thing wasn't important enough to note.

Like Bob Dylan, but backwards

I have an acoustic guitar. I'm still learning the basics, but I can play a few chords and know the notes on half the strings.

It cost a grand total of six dollars at a garage sale. A replacement string cost an additional three dollars. I never knew the music business was so expensive!

PS: videos like this are why google video exists.

I Am The Master Of The Internet

It took me half an hour, but I figured out how to put a button on the bottom of my weblog. No one is going to look there unless they read this post, but I still got it there. I am truly the king of html.

Now if anyone wants to check if the Earth has been destroyed, they can refer to my weblog if the Earth Destruction page is down.

Clerks II

I just saw Clerks II, and I wish I hadn't.

There are funny parts, but Kevin Smith seems to think that being obscene is either funny, or a goal in its own right. So we have a movie that often offends without humour. It's like going into a sewer for a free baseball cap: you get a cap, but it wasn't worth it, not by a long shot.

I know you're going to want to go, and I'm not going to change your mind. Therefore, let me say, "I told you so" before hand.

DS on the internet

So, the DS is going to be able to surf the net pretty soon. Cool!

An Enourmous Ping-Pong Ball

It's my kind of weather: drizzling, cool and quiet. The sky is so uniformly grey, it looks as though the world were encased in an enourmous Ping-Pong Ball.

Everyone else I know doesn't really care for this kind of weather. Not everyone can be correct, like me.

Pirates II

I saw Pirates II. It was pretty good. Not enough Geoffrey Rush, not enough Johnny Depp. Too much, (any) Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom.

Dear directors: special effects do not a movie make.

Ultra-Summary: Pirates of The Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl: The Return Of The Unnecessarily Long Name

Pirates of the Caribbean
The Curse Of The Black Pearl

The Ultra-Summary

Orlando Bloom: I am a master smith, and a talented swordsman. I am self-taught in swordplay, and I trained in smithing under a worthless drunkard.

Johnny Depp: But, you're only twenty years old! And you've only been here for eight years! How is that possible?

Geoffrey Rush: I don't get nearly enough screen time. Arr.

(Geoffrey Rush is shot to death)

Norrington: Now I finally get to hang Jack Sparrow.

The Governor: Good.

(Johnny Depp escapes)

Norrington and the Governor: I guess we like Johnny Depp now? Didn't we want to kill him a second ago?

-The End-

Back in Black

I'm back in town, and it's good to be back. I've injected myself into the internet pretty much constantly since I've returned. I was going to do a picture travelogue about the trip, but that would be hard to do.

A New Challenger!

Dungeon update: As I mentioned earlier, the people who died in the fight seem more positive than the survivor. They seem genuinely excited about making new characters. The first (nearly) finished one is seen below. I gladly welcome our new PC, Centaur Guy!


PS: I don't know why he's wearing a belt either.

PPS: I'm going to be out of town for a week or so, so don't expect any updates.

There Was A Firefight!

The party is dead.

In the dungeon game, everyone but the barbarian was brutally killed and eaten by Cerberus. There are a couple funny things along with that:

1. The barbarian was the only person who seemed concerned.

2. Any number of of things could have prevented the fight entirely, or at least allowed more people to escape. It was a series of mistakes and coincidences that actually brought them to their deaths.

Anyway, the dead players are jazzed about being able to start up new characters. They all seem to want to play monstrosities. I'm not sure why, but apparently any of the traditional D&D races just aren't cool enough for them.

PS. Bonus point if you identify the title quote.

I Am Literally Angry With Rage.

I move that the word 'literally' be stricken from the English language. The vast majority of times it is used, it is used incorrectly. Even when it's not wrong, it is usually unnecessary or a poor choice.

For the record, the only time that literally should be used is when you are using an expression that is usually taken figuratively, but you want it to be understood by the actual meaning of the words.

For example:

"I am literally the devil's advocate."

This means that you are an attorney or another form of representative, and that you work for the devil. You use the word 'literally' because if you do not, someone will assume that you are simply arguing in favor of an unpopular position, which is the figurative meaning of "playing the devil's advocate."

How To Destroy The Earth

Don't you hate the Earth? I know I do. Here's a handy guide to ending it forever. It also outlines how the Earth will end if you do nothing at all.

The endless glory of the internet. All Hail!

iPod Has Arrived

My iPod arrived. I don't have any time to talk about it, as I'm spending all my time messing with it.

Spending Spree!

Lately, I've been spending money like I'm allergic to it. I bought a DS, three role-playing books, went to a restaurant three times in the same week, and bought an iPod.

Once, a package I ordered from Texas was accidentally rerouted thru Virginia because of some mistake. I thought that would be my most traveled product. Little did I expect the Odyssey that my little iPod would undergo.
Good luck, little guy!

Library Times

I work at a library, and I occasionally look thru the stacks. Today I found a book printed in 1822. It's cool to be able to hold something that old.

Interesting fact: in 1822, Ulysses S. Grant was born, and Florida became a state.

Futurama has returned. Life is worth living again.

Billy West announced it months ago, but now it's official. Futurama has returned. Comedy Central has picked it up, reaffirming that Fox is filled with terrible people who don't understand intelligent programming.

I'm going to find it hard to focus on anything until that time, so I hope nothing important happens until 2008.

I really just don't know how to express how I feel.

Battlestar Galactica Ultra-Summary

I just saw the beginning of the new Battlestar galactica, and I have to say it was pretty good. For your viewing pleasure, I have provided an Ultra-Summary thereof.

Battlestar Galactica:
the miniseries

Cylons: Surprise! We are owning your mans.

(The humans are owned, but the Battlestar Galactica escapes.)

The Commander: We are alone, and with no allies. If we can get to the legendary planet Earth, we can rebuild.

The President: Is there really a planet Earth?

The Commander: Nah.

~The End~

Sorry everyone

I accidentally turned the blog into a whiney, emo political site for a second there. Sorry about that. I'll soon have a post that someone other than me might want to read.

...and it makes me want to cry...

There are so many real issues out there. The stuff that politicians debate is so irrelevant that it pains me.

How many times have you heard a politician talking about food production issues? Unless they're talking about bribing farmers with more subsidies and tax cuts, probably never. If you watched nothing but political discussions, you probably wouldn't be aware that there were any issues with the subject.

Yet here we are, with a food production system that is unbelievably inefficient and dangerous. This article describes the situation as it exists today.

A notable detail: the disease E. Coli only exists in beef because the cows are fed corn instead of grasses. If the cows were fed grasses for a little while before they were slaughtered, E. Coli would cease to be.

Here's another good link. Interesting fact: The corn industry got 41.8 billion dollars in subsidies from the US government. This leads to cheaper corn, which is used to make sugars added to food. So our government is spending our money to make our foods less healthy.

It's like the circle of life.

Tales From the Zoo Pt. II

I went to the zoo today. The Butterfly exhibit is open. If you like to see butterflies, it is the place to go.

We may never know.

Anyway, since the summer heat is upon us, many of the animals were in the shade. The tigers took a different approach, though.

Pretty cool!

Autoduel name

I'm creating a driver in the Autoduel world. He's obsessed with speed, and loves cars. Something that I still need is a name. Anyone want to toss out a good name for this guy? (By the way, he's american, and an american name would be best.)

Cars Review

Cars is an extremely good film.

I don't feel comfortable giving details about films, because when I go into a film, I don't want to know anything about it.

I do feel safe pointing out that there isn't Ron Perlman. Therefore, my rating for Cars is 1/5 Ron Perlmans.

Final Rating for Cars:
1/5 Ron Perlmans

PS: There has been some confusion regarding the Ron Perlman rating system. It is really quite simple. If a movie has Ron Perlman, then the rating reflects the degree to which Ron Perlman is in that movie, and varies from 1-5. If it does not, then the rating reflects the quality of the film, and varies from 0-1.

It's not that complicated! Geesh!

Cars

I am going to see Cars today. It surprises me how many people aren't going just because it looks like it won't be any good. Quite frankly, Pixar is awesome and I'd go to their movies even if I didn't know a thing about them. They are the only film company I know of that has nothing but good movies. After seeing it, I'll put up a review.

Also, the season finale of Dr. Who is today. Apparently the Dr. has a busy schedule ahead of him, what with having to rescue the girl, annihilate the Daleks, and save earth, all in under 44 minutes.

The Africa Exhibit

Recently, the Minnesota Zoo started the Africa Exhibit. They have giraffes, ostriches, zebras, and gazelles. I went there, and got some cool pictures.

At first, the giraffes stayed far away. They seem to like to look at the animals in the nearby exhibit.
Then one of them wandered closer to our position.
Eventually, it ended up approaching the area that we were standing at. This picture was taken about 10 feet away from the giraffe. There was a rope preventing me from getting any closer.
It turns out that they're training the giraffes to walk up to people and eat crackers right out of their hands! That's going to be cool to see.

50,000 Troops...Where?

I recently read that there are 50,000 US troops occupying Japan.

That's right. Japan. 50,000 men.

With an estimated United States Population of 298,800,000 people, this means that one in 5,976 americans are troops stationed in a country that has been an ally for fifty years. This doesn't include troops still stationed in Germany, France, and other countries that are as much threat to our security as a damp piece if bread.

Hooray for the United States, guarding us from our allies.

First Session

Well, the players have entered the dungeon, and they seem to be doing pretty well for themselves. They killed 5 hobgoblins, a wolf, a lion, and a Jaguar.

Yesterday, they created a bunch of zombies, killed some more Hobgoblins, and nearly died in the fight.

They weren't happy with the LEGO representations of themselves, though. Here's the new cast.

... And After

Well, how's it look?

Before

The World's Biggest (GURPS) Dungeon

I've been working on the ultimate GURPS Dungeon. It will contain every GURPS monster and Magic Item. The first characters to attempt to conquer this dungeon have been designed. Will these brave men defeat the innumerable dangers before them?

Probably Not.

Halo 2 Review

Now that Halo 2 has been out for a couple years, I felt it was time that I gave it a review.

Overall, it is quite good, and makes many improvements over the original. Anyone who says that losing the pistol is bad is either crazy or a liar. The only real problem is that the game is pretty clearly unfinished. I'm not refering to the ending, which I didn't mind.

What I'm talking about is the crazy degree of pop-up that occurs in the game. It's surreal when you see people floating in mid-air for several seconds before their chairs appear under them. And this happens in cutscenes! It's completely absurd.

Another indicator of an unfinished game is when the people who made it say that they cut out three levels.

Anyway, the game has a good deal of Ron Perlman as Lord Hood. He is not, however, the protagonist, or even a starring character.

Halo 2 final rating:
3/5 Ron Perlmans.

Ultra Summaries

If you've never been, I highly suggest Book-A-Minute. It's a lot of fun.

Unfortunately, it seems that they stopped updating it some time ago. I thought I would continue the tradition. As my first book, I chose the Bhagavad Gita:

The Bhagavad Gita

(A battle is about to begin.)

Arjuna: Should I fight these people, even though some are friends or family?

Krishna: Yes!

-The End-

iPod

I'm thinking about buying an iPod. They seem to be pretty nice, but until lately I've been happy without one.

That was until I found out you can have them engraved for FREE.

Just imagine, if you will, an iPod that looks like this:


I guess you don't have to imagine, there it is. Witness the glory!

Breaking news from E3!

E3 is pretty cool. Everyone has all of their coolest stuff to show off there.

I just watched the new trailer for MGS4, and man is it awesome.

Coolest moment? The return of everyone's favorite character, seen below.


That's right! The cardboard box is back! Hooray!

Calc

I just took my Calc II final. Let's just hope I pass. I know this is what I hoped for Calc I, but the hope is more tenuous this time.

Horror movies suck

It seems that there's a cottage industry of horror films. They crank out what seems like one every month, and they all have the same freaking "creepy" kid!

I know that the people who make these movies have no imagination, but that doesn't mean that they have to make the exact same movie. If someone made a horror film without a "creepy" kid, I would award them with some ficticious award.

I suppose the first person to use it can't really be blamed, so they are excused. Now I just have to go back and find the first work of fiction that uses children as a symbol of innocence in front of a "frightening" situation.

Not really worth the effort of looking.

PS:
For the purposes of this claim, I don't include "slasher" films, (which suck even harder) as horror. I'm talking about psychological horror, which seems to need a child as a voicebox to allude to what's going on, but not actually help.

Silver Lining to Every Cloud

I just ran out of tortillas. It's pretty sad, really. It's particularly sad because I make an awesome burrito.

On the other hand, I just found a pair of pants which I really like. I had forgotten they existed. They are really cool. The waistband is just the right circumphrence for my for my torso-region.

I just don't know how to feel about these developments.

Because "Xbox" is so cool

So, the Nintendo's next system is the Wii. Idiots will be glad to tell you that this is a terrible name.

Two things:

1) YOU think of a good name for a system. As someone who's GMed for several years, I can tell you that names are tough.

2) What system has a good name? "Playstation" sounds like a third grade edu-tainment game; The only reason it sounds O.K. is that you're used to it. Xbox is so painfully corporate you can see a middle-aged fat guy talking about demographics whenever you hear it.

But the most important thing is that the entire name "issue" doesn't matter in the slightest. If anyone makes a decision about this system based on its name, there's really no helping them.

Patriotism?

This just about sums it up.

Atlas shrugged, no one cared

Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged is just nonsense. In it, the 'people of the mind', resentful of having to do all the work for a lazy bunch of stupid people, decide to quit. Then, for some reason, the societies that lost their writers, philosophers, etc. regret it.

What a coincidence that Ayn Rand would believe that a class she belongs to is the one keeping society afloat!

In the long term, a society needs inventors, revolutionaries and philosophers. If they didn't have any, other countries would pull ahead of them. This does not mean that they are critical for the day to day operation of a society.

It seems to me that most societies would welcome a loss of their intelligentsia, especially for the short term. The people that keep society running are not thinkers, they are workers. If you had two societies, one without idiots that did all the work that idiots do, and one without philosophers, the one without idiots would collapse immediately, and the one without philosphers would coast along in ignorant contentment.

If the people who supported the world decided to give up and leave, all the writers of the world would wonder where their drivers/janitors/electricity/foodstuffs had gone to.

Voting

There are a lot of stupid things that people do, but the most enraging thing is voting wrong. There are seemingly endless justification for voting wrong, but the worst is voting for the person that you think will win. Why would someone vote for someone that was going to win? Your vote means nothing if it doesn't change the effect of the election. It's not like you get a prize if you pick 'the right guy' or something.

Some will point out that your chance of effecting the election is zero, regardless of whom you vote for. That's true.

I have surpassed nature

I have decided that since I have spent more than 24 hours awake, I no longer need to sleep. Screw you, time wasting activity!

From now on, I'll be living 33% more life than you inferior human prototypes. I'll see you in the future, which is 1/3 more distant for me than it is for you. Or something.

Sleepin', or not

I have a midterm tommorow, and I work overnight tonight. Why, oh why, did I get up early today and not take a nap?

I have poor planning skills. Curse you, internet!

Gordon Freeman is a Tool

I've played some Half-Life 2, and I have to say that it fails to live up to its reputation. While it does have a good physics engine, that doesn't make a good game. The AI, from what I've seen, is very disappointing. The Combine soldiers stand there, and they try to shoot you.

Also, the seemingly endless boat ride segment is torment in video game form. I don't know why they thought riding around in a boat and solving random puzzles was the peak of entertainment.
Also, what FPS comes out without a multiplayer mode?

The physics engine is rather neat though. If you want to stack objects, but hate lifting things, this would be the game to play.

P.S. The title is literal. Apparently, Gordon Freeman is bought and sold like meat.

P.P.S. "We're going to take your guns. Except your magic gun. We'll supercharge that, then give it back." What's up with that?

Lost

I've been watching Season 1 of Lost, and I've decided to throw my own crazy theory into the ring: Claire's child is the anti-christ. Just like in Good Omens, the people who raise him determine the fate of the world.

The Trouble with Tr - Zombies

Do zombies:

A) Eat the flesh of the living for nourishment?

B) Bite living people to transform them into new zombies?

It doesn't make any sense for them to do both.

By the way, Shaun of the Dead is a very funny movie. The actors are english, but not excessively so. I give it .91 out of 5 Ron Perlmans.

Presidential Politics

I don't know who the candidates for president will be this coming election, but I do know that a governor has a better chance than a senator. The fact of the matter is, a senator has to make tough, easily misrepresented decisions. Every 'aye' and 'nay' will be reviewed. If a senator tries to re-brand himself, he'll be cut apart by his own record, whether he deserves it or not.

A governor will also have his record reviewed, but it will be largely irrelevant. While a senator votes on things that directly relate to issues confronting a president, a governor only has to deal with state politics. He has effectively no record on military or international concerns. A governor can make himself anything on a national scale, since he is a null entity on those matters.

An exception might be someone like Hillary, since she's spent so little time in the senate that she may have avoided any real decisions.

Math is Hard

Math is hard. Take my word for it. I have a midterm tommorow, so wish me luck!

Lost

After a friend suggested it to me, I bought the first season of Lost. I haven't finished the season yet, but based on my current knowledge I give it .9 out of 5 Ron Perlmans. If something really cool/stupid happens, or if Ron Perlman appears, the rating will change, obviously.

Syotos

I invented a new term: Syotos. It comes from "see you on the other side". If you want to toast someone who died or is suffering and you think "salud" sounds stupid (it totally does) then give them a Syotos, and drink up.

Current Syotos recipient: Isaac Hayes. We miss you, man. I hope you get out of there ok.

How Many Ron Perlmans?

Recently, I invented the greatest rating system of all time: the Ron Pelrman. A movie or any other piece of media can win up to five Ron Perlmans. If the media features Ron Perlman, then the score reflects the degree to which Ron Perlman exists in that media. If there is no Ron Perlman, then the media is rated on quality alone, up to a maximum of one.

For example: Hellboy gets five out of five Ron Perlmans. Ultraviolet gets zero Ron Perlmans, and Doctor Strangelove, my favorite movie, gets a full score of one out of a possible one Ron Perlman.

We have truly entered a brave new world.

Chef Returns!

So, it seems that South Park's Chef will return, but without the legendary Isaac Hayes. I think it's unfortunate that they had to part ways like this, and am very curious about what will happen without the 'real' Chef.

Mr. Hayes, good luck with your future. Scientology is idiotic.

V for Vendetta

V for Vendetta is a pretty good movie, but it's a better comic. Like always, I think the movie would be improved by staying truer to its source.

The only example I feel safe about giving without spoiling anything is the shameless political orientation of the movie. Apparently, the Wachowski brothers don't like the Bush administration, and feel that someone else's story is the best venue to vent their displeasure. If you want to attack someone, make your own story.

Heir Today, Gone Tommorow

Well, Billy West announces that Futurama has been renewed for 26 more episodes, then snatches them away from us.

Getting our hopes up like that...not cool.

R.I.P. Futurama.

PS. Billy, you're still cool, just don't get our hopes up like that unless you're sure. Please?

Alarm

My roomate has an alarm. Its noise is very piercing. It goes off for about two hours straight before turning off. Usually, this isn't a big deal, as I can just go to his room and turn it off. Unfortunately, he is away for spring break (I assume), and has locked his door. So I cannot turn off the buzzing of that hideous clock. This promises to be an exciting week.

Health update: I am recovered, probably. My only remaining symptom is stomach tightness, and I believe that is thanks to muscle strain, not illness.

Sick as a very sick dog

I am extremely sick. Have you ever vomitted so hard that it came out your nose? It's very unpleasant.

You learn something new every day.

A Joke I Thought Up

Once you walk a mile in a man's shoes, you can probably stop. He's probably given up on getting them back.

War of the Worlds

Two problems with War of the Worlds:

1. Everyone was inexplicably fleeing in the same direction. In a global invasion, people would just aimlessly wander. Anyone who's seen lots of science fiction would know that.

2. When Tom Cruise's son turned out to be alive at the end, I was outraged. That has to be the worst cop-out of all time.

Spore

I know this is old news, but Spore looks absolutely fantastic. I highly suggest everyone watch the preview. There are two versions on google video, the "pure" tech demo, and the one where Will Wright talks about his game philosophy and history. Both are good, watch either one.

Steamboy

In other movie news, Steamboy is pretty good. I guess it shouldn't be a surprise that the guy who made Akira made another winner. If you have the chance, I highly recommend seeing Steamboy.

Actually, if you haven't seen Akira, it's probably a good idea to see that too. It's pretty old, and very strange, but it's still very good.

Another thing about Steamboy: the dubbing cast is very cool, especially Patrick Stewart, but I found the faux english accent of some of the characters intolerable. Yet again, I suggest you see this one subbed.

An Open Letter to the Director of Equilibrium and a Movie That Shall Not Be Named

Dear director of Equillibrium, why hast thou forsaken me?

I didn't expect much, just some well-choreographed violence, maybe some moderately insightful social commentary.

What did I find?

A movie that failed to deliver a single good fight scene for an entire hour. In a movie that was one hour and twenty-five minutes long. I suppose it makes sense to have a single fight where the protagonist wins without difficulty. It shows the extreme proficiency of the character. But every battle John Preston fought was interesting. It seemed that more money was spent on ridiculous camera panning than on fighting.

By the way, if a camera goes through a reflective glass twice with nothing happening, you are spending too much time moving the camera around.

I thought you were a clever guy who liked good fight scenes. It turns out that you're some guy who should have had a test screening with a human being. Honestly, did a single person think that scene in the park was good? You win an award I just made up, the "I can't believe that wasn't a dream sequence, oh, god, how I wish that had been a dream sequence" award.

Second Place Also Means Loser

Well, America lost the olympics. Too bad. Well done, Germany, well done.

Fourth Place Means Loser

I ended up getting fourth place in Ultracorps. I knew I wasn't going to win, but it's still rather dissapointing.

Ultracorps

This Ultracorps thing is pretty fun. If you have a spare hour every day, I highly suggest it. I am currently in first place as this game winds down. Unless something catastrophic happens, I'm going to win my second real game of Ultracorps, played against hundreds of people.

Why?

For the same flaw that many online games have: People drop out of games. Thanks to the fact that my neighbors on all sides stopped playing early on, I had no interference whatsoever for the first half of the game.

In Halo 2, which I recently stopped playing, there's a similar problem. It seemed that in half the games, a person would drop out of a team relatively early in the game. From that point on, it's an uphill battle for that team. I have seen outnumbered players win, but less than ten times in my entire Halo 2 career.

I wish there was some sort of device that would shoot quitters in the mouth.

mAnteater!

I have designed the greatest super of all time: mAnteater. He combines all of the power of a human with all of the powers of an anteater. Also, he can eat people whole. He's pretty cool.

mAnteater away!

Better Dead than Red

Whoever chose the colors to represent the Republicans and Democrats is nuts. The colors are totally inappropriate!

First, we have the Republicans, vehemently opposed to the 'red ideal'. With overtones of class struggle, revolution, communism, blood and war, a republican waving a red flag is a joke. What a strange irony that the Republicans would celebrate a wave of red sweeping across the nation.

Then there are the Democrats. The color blue, as far as I know, doesn't have any political meaning. It doesn't stand for anything.

...

Well, at least one of the colors doesn't fit.

A sincere letter

Dear car commercials,

Cars are designed to travel on roads. Your car, no matter how amazing, will flounder and overturn in the "off-road" conditions you so blithely put them in. Honestly, why would soccer moms even want a van that can drive up some convieniently road-shaped precipice?

Please cease to exist.

Dick Cheney shot a man

So, Dick Cheney shot a man.

It's just too easy. I'm going to let someone else field this one. Honestly, this has got to be the easiest piece of joke material in history.

Augmented Reality

The bicycle was a revolutionary invention. Suddenly, a person without a lot of money could travel at least five times as fast as walking, without as much effort. Instead of needing a horse and carriage to travel long distances, anyone with a little money and their health could travel long distances.

I think the internet is like that. Not, obviously, to help in making travel affordable (unless you're an electron). Instead, the internet is going to make information accessible at any moment, to anyone. The prerequisites will be few: access to the web, and the ability to read. (although that last one may fall away, eventually).

Right now, the internet and computers are at the cusp of a revolution in thought. With sources like Wikipedia, Google Scholar and Google Books, there isn't a very good reason to know trivia, as it can be accessed at any moment. Why bother knowing when Colombus sailed the ocean blue when you can find out in less than 10 seconds? Especially when you can also find out anything else about him in as much time.

Note that I don't think the revolution has come yet; with these tools, we have the foundation of Augmented Reality. A world where information on anything is instantly accessible is not too far away. The only thing we are missing is portability. Soon, I think, computers will be small enough to be of negligible weight. Then they can be attached to glasses that serve as monitors, or even eye implants that project directly into the retina. At that time, Augmented Reality is possible.

Imagine wandering through a new city to see the sights. Instead of getting a map or asking a local, you set out with no special knowledge. When you look at a building, glowing letters appear in your vision, telling you anything you may be interested in. You decide you don't want to learn about apartments or restaurants today, so you set your computer to only prompt you only at notable attractions. When you get tired, you tell your computer to give you directions to your hotel, and a glowing thread of light leads you down the sidewalk into the hotel, and directly to your bed.

Imagine playing an invisible game of Tag, where the person who is 'it' has a glowing halo, visible only to the other players.

Imagine information on anything, at any time.

That's augmented reality.

Sounds cool to me!

School hurts

I probably could have chosen a better time to start a blog than at the beginning of a semester. I've been buried under work, with nothing to show to my adoring fans.

Sorry, everyone.

Wikipedia is Great

Wikipedia is great. The people that find fault with it are, almost inevitably, finding fault with something it is not.

For example: People claim that Wikipedia cannot be trusted, and shouldn't be used as an authority. These people believe that Wikipedia is trying to be the end-all be-all authority on all issues, which it is not. Instead, Wikipedia is, as the name suggests, an encyclopedia. Encyclopedias are not the final source for research, they are the first source for research. Wikipedia is best for those people unfamiliar with an issue who wish to survey it, not for those who already know the subject. For those who know the subject already, Wikipedia provides handy links to other informative sites, some of which are the sort of reputable sort ( .gov, .edu ) that should be used as an authoritative source for experts.

For me, Wikipedia is the perfect source for information on issues that don't have any real importance, and, therefore, don't matter if they are true or not.

Groundhog's Day

Apparently today is groundhog's day. Ah, is there a more pointless holiday?

I am curious; what does it mean if I spend the entire day sleeping and watching TV? 4 more weeks of laziness? I don't recall seeing my shadow.

PS.
The show 'Drawn Together' is not funny. At all. It is, as they say, "un-funny". On the continuity of 'funny' to 'not funny', it is actually farther down the line than 'not funny'. If seen in the presence of something that is funny, it will cancel out that funniness proportionately.

PPS.
As bad as 'Drawn Together' is, 'Mind of Mencia' is worse. Shows like that make me wish I had a gun.

Queen is back?

I really can't tolerate the idea of Queen touring without Freddie Mercury. It's like a book without words in it. It's still technically a book, but why would anyone get it? If someone accidentally looked in it, they'd say, "I assumed that this book would have words in it. I want my money back." If the members of the 'new' Queen want to tour, I don't mind. But they shouldn't be doing it under the name of Queen.