Sunday, December 31, 2006

Happy New Years

It's been a pretty good year for me. The weather has been so absurdly warm that I haven't had to wear a heavy jacket except when I'm working overnight. Even then, it hasn't been bad at all.

I'm not making any resolutions. Resolutions are for (1) cowards, and (2) people who make mistakes. Even if I was one of those people, I'd never admit it by making a resolution.

Narbonic is over. Sad. Irregular Webcomic seems to be finishing too, but I don't believe it. I can't believe it.

Saturday, December 30, 2006


Tribond is the worst board game I have ever played. It's like playing a single category of Jeapordy! for an hour, instead of only 5 questions. It probably isn't supposed to last an hour, but it does because the questions become hopelessly obscure in their search to actually provide enough trivia that adheres to the "three related things" rule.

Tedious and obscure, (in a bad way) trivia.

0 out of 5 Germanies.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Board Games

I have a problem: Ron Perlman (to the best of my knowledge) does not appear in any board games. It is, therefore, silly to rate them on the degree they star him.

I have a solution: I will rate board games on the degree to which they are German. As you may know, Germany is the king of board games. The system will otherwise be the same as the Ron Perlman system: 1-5 for games from Germany, 0-1 from games made in other nations, etc.

I'll have a review within a few days.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Friday, December 22, 2006

Rocking With Stephen

Stephen Colbert's latest episode is amazing. The guest list is possibly the most impressive I've ever seen for a TV program. The show only seems to get better with time and ambition.

No Word, though. One can only assume that it would be "rock" or something.

Thursday, December 21, 2006


It is finally snowing for real. It seemed impossible that Minnesota wouldn't have a white Xmas, but this is cutting it awfully close, Jesus.

Monday, December 18, 2006

An Open Letter To Smokers

Hello, smokers. I just had to get these things off my chest:

1) You smell. All the time. Whenever you get near other people, they mentally recoil, thinking, "ugh. That guy smells awful."

2) You have no "right" to smoke, either inside or outside. Liberty is being able to do something that doesn't harm others. Second-Hand smoke is poisonous. If you smoke near me, it is as "fair" as me using an unshielded nuclear reactor near you. If you want to smoke where there is little possibility of poisoning others, fine. Go ahead.

3) Although it is commonly claimed that each cigarette you smoke will take off eleven minutes of your life, this does not mean that you will reach the magic age, then spontaneously die. It means that your decay into illness will be more rapid and begin earlier. Your skin will look like it's made of leather at the age of 35, and you will be unable to climb a flight of stairs without stopping for a breather.

4) This really doesn't have anything to do with smoking, but it needs to be said: DO NOT USE APOSTROPHES TO INDICATE PLURALITY. I don't know if smokers do this more often than non-smokers, but they shouldn't do it at all, just like non-smokers.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Rants, popular

I took my first final, and I kicked its butt. (Knew how to do every problem, and I was the first to finish.)

An informal poll indicates that roughly 30% of my audience liked my rant about CSI. This is both good and bad news. Good news: someone likes something on this blog. A new record! Bad news: CSI is the worst thing I know of. Any more rants would be like an SNL sketch, progressively less funny until it's just irritating.

This will not stop me from doing at least one more rant. I already have the victim in mind.

Monday, December 11, 2006


The television program CSI is an offense unto god and man. It is the worst abuser of science in all media, in all history, past present and future.

My favorite example of CSI's absurdity was when they found a digital photo and zoomed into a pair of glasses so much that they could make out the person who took the photo. With no loss of resolution. This photo had a million pixels, (at least) in a small fraction of someone's glasses, which were not a particularly large portion of the shot.

A friend of mine told me that they pulled a similar trick in another episode. They took a satellite image and zoomed in until they could read a license plate off the reflection of another car's chrome. This is clearly an awesome satellite photo.

There are more important problems in the show, (Crime Scene Investigators investigate crime scenes, they don't interrogate witnesses, perform arrests, etc.) but the science impossibilities are the ones that make me retch in disgust.

Although CSI abuses science the worst, Numb3rs abuses math about as much. In the eyes of the show, mathematicians are mystical priests of ultimate knowledge, and the FBI is unaware of the basic precepts of their occupation (looking for trends, collecting data, gathering evidence are all important, even without math!).

Irritating. No wonder american scientific literacy is abysmal.

Sunday, December 10, 2006


I haven't updated in a while, sorry about that.

Have you guys seen the Halo 3 trailer? Kinda neat.

Weather is crazy not-cold still. It's December, yet it's possible to go out in a light jacket.

Monday, December 04, 2006

2008 is going to be insane

The race for president looks like it's going to be crazy. Polling indicates that Hilary and Obama are supported for the Democrats, and there is no way that Obama is going to get the nomination. The Republicans like Giuliani and Mccain, and although I respect Mccain, he's unbelievably old to run for president.

This race has a good chance of having a dark horse candidate for both parties. Now that would be interesting.

Sunday, December 03, 2006


Steve Jackson already linked this up, but I couldn't resist. This picture is awesome. I still count the NASA crawler as the slowest vehicle in the world, as the device pictured does not have the function of moving, it moves as part of its function.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Dead Rising

Since Dell didn't see fit to send me the game I ordered from them along with the 360, I was forced out onto the streets to get another game.

I got Dead Rising. Dead Rising is awesome.

If there's a better game of killing zombies in nearly endless variations, I haven't heard of it.

Friday, December 01, 2006

The mysterious Dell

So, I got my 360, without a game to play. Apparently, it's harder to find a 6 ounce game than a ten pound console.

The 360 looks real nice, until you see the back, and what it hooks up to. It's like messing with a Soviet Submarine.

America is a Soulless Wasteland

My God. Have you seen this website, ""?

You pay other people to increase your gamerscore for the 360. Your gamerscore DOES NOT DO ANYTHING! It's just a record of what game's you've played, and what achievements you've performed.

They will get you 5,000 points for 319.99$. This, despite the Gamespot guide: "How to get 6,000 gamerpoints easily". For 320$, you could buy the games they suggest, and the actual achievements are criminally easy. For example: You can earn 500 of the 1,000 points available in NHL 2K6 with a single shot. For football games, you can get more than half the points by telling the game to simulate playing a game.

At what point are we at, where we pay other people to trick our video games into believing that we've played them?