Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Math is Hard

Math is hard. Take my word for it. I have a midterm tommorow, so wish me luck!

Saturday, March 25, 2006


After a friend suggested it to me, I bought the first season of Lost. I haven't finished the season yet, but based on my current knowledge I give it .9 out of 5 Ron Perlmans. If something really cool/stupid happens, or if Ron Perlman appears, the rating will change, obviously.

Friday, March 24, 2006


I invented a new term: Syotos. It comes from "see you on the other side". If you want to toast someone who died or is suffering and you think "salud" sounds stupid (it totally does) then give them a Syotos, and drink up.

Current Syotos recipient: Isaac Hayes. We miss you, man. I hope you get out of there ok.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

How Many Ron Perlmans?

Recently, I invented the greatest rating system of all time: the Ron Pelrman. A movie or any other piece of media can win up to five Ron Perlmans. If the media features Ron Perlman, then the score reflects the degree to which Ron Perlman exists in that media. If there is no Ron Perlman, then the media is rated on quality alone, up to a maximum of one.

For example: Hellboy gets five out of five Ron Perlmans. Ultraviolet gets zero Ron Perlmans, and Doctor Strangelove, my favorite movie, gets a full score of one out of a possible one Ron Perlman.

We have truly entered a brave new world.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Chef Returns!

So, it seems that South Park's Chef will return, but without the legendary Isaac Hayes. I think it's unfortunate that they had to part ways like this, and am very curious about what will happen without the 'real' Chef.

Mr. Hayes, good luck with your future. Scientology is idiotic.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

V for Vendetta

V for Vendetta is a pretty good movie, but it's a better comic. Like always, I think the movie would be improved by staying truer to its source.

The only example I feel safe about giving without spoiling anything is the shameless political orientation of the movie. Apparently, the Wachowski brothers don't like the Bush administration, and feel that someone else's story is the best venue to vent their displeasure. If you want to attack someone, make your own story.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Heir Today, Gone Tommorow

Well, Billy West announces that Futurama has been renewed for 26 more episodes, then snatches them away from us.

Getting our hopes up like that...not cool.

R.I.P. Futurama.

PS. Billy, you're still cool, just don't get our hopes up like that unless you're sure. Please?

Wednesday, March 15, 2006


My roomate has an alarm. Its noise is very piercing. It goes off for about two hours straight before turning off. Usually, this isn't a big deal, as I can just go to his room and turn it off. Unfortunately, he is away for spring break (I assume), and has locked his door. So I cannot turn off the buzzing of that hideous clock. This promises to be an exciting week.

Health update: I am recovered, probably. My only remaining symptom is stomach tightness, and I believe that is thanks to muscle strain, not illness.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Sick as a very sick dog

I am extremely sick. Have you ever vomitted so hard that it came out your nose? It's very unpleasant.

You learn something new every day.

Friday, March 10, 2006

A Joke I Thought Up

Once you walk a mile in a man's shoes, you can probably stop. He's probably given up on getting them back.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

War of the Worlds

Two problems with War of the Worlds:

1. Everyone was inexplicably fleeing in the same direction. In a global invasion, people would just aimlessly wander. Anyone who's seen lots of science fiction would know that.

2. When Tom Cruise's son turned out to be alive at the end, I was outraged. That has to be the worst cop-out of all time.


I know this is old news, but Spore looks absolutely fantastic. I highly suggest everyone watch the preview. There are two versions on google video, the "pure" tech demo, and the one where Will Wright talks about his game philosophy and history. Both are good, watch either one.

Sunday, March 05, 2006


In other movie news, Steamboy is pretty good. I guess it shouldn't be a surprise that the guy who made Akira made another winner. If you have the chance, I highly recommend seeing Steamboy.

Actually, if you haven't seen Akira, it's probably a good idea to see that too. It's pretty old, and very strange, but it's still very good.

Another thing about Steamboy: the dubbing cast is very cool, especially Patrick Stewart, but I found the faux english accent of some of the characters intolerable. Yet again, I suggest you see this one subbed.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

An Open Letter to the Director of Equilibrium and a Movie That Shall Not Be Named

Dear director of Equillibrium, why hast thou forsaken me?

I didn't expect much, just some well-choreographed violence, maybe some moderately insightful social commentary.

What did I find?

A movie that failed to deliver a single good fight scene for an entire hour. In a movie that was one hour and twenty-five minutes long. I suppose it makes sense to have a single fight where the protagonist wins without difficulty. It shows the extreme proficiency of the character. But every battle John Preston fought was interesting. It seemed that more money was spent on ridiculous camera panning than on fighting.

By the way, if a camera goes through a reflective glass twice with nothing happening, you are spending too much time moving the camera around.

I thought you were a clever guy who liked good fight scenes. It turns out that you're some guy who should have had a test screening with a human being. Honestly, did a single person think that scene in the park was good? You win an award I just made up, the "I can't believe that wasn't a dream sequence, oh, god, how I wish that had been a dream sequence" award.