In deference to fan outcry, I present to you the ultra-summary of:
Love's Labours Lost
King: Let's seclude ourselves from the corrupting influence of intemperance and women by isolating ourselves for three years.
Berowne: This isn't going to go well.
Audience: Well, duh.
Messenger: The Princess of another country has arrived to negotiate.
King:Don't let her inside! Girls are icky!
Every Male Lead (Including the King): I've secretly fallen in love, and will read my love note aloud to an empty room. What's this! Someone was listening! How embarrassing! Well, let's all go romance the objects of our affections.
The Female Leads: We love them, but let's jerk them around before we admit it.
Every Character: I love you more! No, you!
Audience: (Vomiting noises)
8 down, 29 to go.
Next up: Romeo and Juliet