Family Guy Special

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Family Guy has yet another endless action scene instead of any jokes. What did surprise me was the parody of The Matrix. Really, the Matrix? You are aware that the first parody of the Matrix was discovered on cave paintings in southern Europe, right? The Matrix is roughly seven million years old, and that's the most recent thing you can think of? You guys really are stuck on 10-30 year-old pop culture references. Making the entire thing a dream sequence was predictable, and unnecessary.

I admit that I laughed at the Lethal Weapon II reference.

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Now playing: Meat Loaf - Dead Ringer For Love
via FoxyTunes

300 post spectacular!

This is my 300th post. I wanted to do something special, but I couldn't think of anything special to do. That's why it's been a while since my last update. I ended up deciding to do a multi-post: several of my themes wrapped up into one big post.

Shakespeare: Richard III

This has the best writing of any of the plays to date. If you only have a minute to look it over, I would strongly advise you to look at the scene with the two murderers. It is easy to find: just press ctrl+f on the Project Gutenberg page and type in "FIRST MURDERER". That should get you to the right general area.

Anyway, good play. It fits the space idea even better than the previous plays. The bit with the murderers is quite funny, I don't know how well that would translate to the space opera since their argument is largely about their religion.

Why I Won't Be President: Soldiers

In America, soldiers are idolized for some reason. Soldiers generally go to war because they hope to get money, and a future assured of potential security. In fact, soldiers tend to be less intelligent and "good" than an average non-soldier. This is mainly because soldiers are younger than an average person, and therefore less knowledgeable, and because soldiers are put in a situation that is detrimental to ethics.

Soldiers are not universally bad or stupid, but there's no reason to respect their opinion or hail them universally as heroes.

(If that doesn't kill any chances I have of getting into politics, I don't know what will.)

Wikipedia Sucks

As you may know, my very second blog entry was about how Wikipedia is great. Unfortunately, I've changed my mind. I started the article on Chain Chomps, but it's been smooshed together into an overarching article on Super Mario enemies. Where's my glory? Where? How am I going to get any cred from saying I started an article that's now a redirect?

Screw you, Wikipedia.

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Now playing: The Beatles - Paperback Writer
via FoxyTunes

Fascism in America

This is a good article. The only part I find hard to believe is the part where she tells us that our voters are active enough that they will resist a fascist takeover in America. What America is she from?

Apologies

Sorry, endless legion of fans, but I'm too busy right now to write much. Stupid papers I have to write. Grr.

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Now playing: Jethro Tull - Thick As A Brick
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WIWBP: Ethanol

Here's the first reason I won't win any elected office: Ethanol is a scam designed to funnel money to farmers. Because farmers like money, they vote against people who point this out. If I were ever elected to anything, I would make it my purpose to end the subsidies to farmers who don't need it.

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Now playing: They Might Be Giants - Sleepwalkers
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Why I Won't Be President

When Teddy Roosevelt was Governor of New York, someone mentioned that he was on his way to becoming President of the US. TR told him never to say that, since if he was thinking of becoming President, he wouldn't be thinking about what he was currently doing. In that vein, I've decided that I will disqualify myself for any public office by posting some remarks that will automatically give any election to my opponent.

Basically, I'm going to say the things that ruin politicians. All I have to do is disagree with powerful political factions. These groups include the NRA, the "Pro-Life" cabal, and less obvious organizations like the military, the elderly, and parents.

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Now playing: Meat Loaf - Bad For Good
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Team Fortress Classes

I like all of the classes in Team Fortress 2. Unless you count the Engineer as a class. On defensive settings, the Engineer is a more like a D-Day simulator than a class.

Has anyone else played 2Fort with ass-Engineers who block up the entrance to the second part of their base with a turret? It's incredibly frustrating, mainly because the games often have no time limit, so a single round can go on indefinitely. People seem to actually favor this particular set-up for some reason; more than half the games I find are small team games on 2Fort.

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Now playing: Genesis - That's All
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Henry VI, Part III

I finished Henry VI, Part III. I'm looking forward to the Space Opera.

The most absurd moment: The king is alone on a battlefield for some reason. He doesn't even have a guard or something. A man drags a body on stage, only to discover that it is his father. A moment later, another man drags a body on stage, only to discover that he has killed his son. While they are complaining about the injustice of the war, Henry VI speaks sad words. Neither of the soldiers notice the king or each other. The soldiers carry the bodies offstage, and the king complains some more.

Oh, Shakespeare, it's possible to make a point with subtlety. (Like I'm one to talk.)

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Now playing: The Doors - Love Her Madly
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Shakespeare: Henry VI, In Space!

As you know, I've been going through the plays of Shakespeare. I believe that Henry VI, which I am nearly done with, would make an excellent space opera. It's a trilogy, and Science Fiction movies are naturally trilogies. The only change you would have to make is making every piece of Middle Ages technology into Sci-fi tech by adding the word "space" or "laser".

ex.
Space Henry VI retreats to his Space Castle defended by hundreds of men with Laser Swords and Laser Cannons. Richard, the Duke of Space York, lays siege with his laser cannons.

Perfect!

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Now playing: Flogging Molly - Another Bag of Bricks
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iPod R.I.P.?

The latest iPod software update seems to have screwed over my iPod. While it works fine whilst connected to the computer, it refuses to admit that it has any music on it when it's by itself. I've been thinking about getting a iPod Touch for a while now, and this may be the tipping point. All I need to do now is think of a motto from Dinosaur Comics to engrave on it.

Turns out there's nothing wrong with the iPod. I just hadn't updated the iTunes software. You can all return from the edge of your seat.

Blearg

I am sick as a dog with a mild cold. Leave me alone.

PS. I'm better now.

You'll Never Stop the Simpsons

I saw the latest Simpsons. It's like watching the long, painful descent of an aging relative whose reduced faculties make them more and more embarrassing. Please Simpsons, there's something to be said for a graceful retirement.

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Now playing: Beck - Loser
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The Armada

I've been reading a book about the Spanish Armada. Interesting fact: the Spanish published every known figure about the fleet. They published the number of ships, guns, soldiers, pounds of food, everything they knew. Since the Armada was held in port by weather for weeks after publication, most of Europe knew the size of the fleet before the first shots were fired. English captains going to the battle carried a list of the enemy's plans.

The book makes it clear that the Armada would have lost anyway, since they had fewer ships, worse technology, bad sailors, and a tactical plan that relied on a miracle. Publishing the plans couldn't have been too big an influence, but Dios Mio, is that ever stupid.

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Now playing: Meat Loaf - Dead Ringer For Love
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Henry VI: Part II

I got through Henry VI: Part II. All the characters whose names I bothered to learn died. Waste of time. Anyway, some highlights:

• Another woman summons a demon. Is there some anti-feminist (or pro-demon) theme in Shakespeare?
• "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."

Good times.

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Now playing: NPR - It's All Politics November 8 2007
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TheDailyShow.com

As you may have heard, the Daily Show has a new website. It is going to host every episode aired during Jon Stewart's run. A key feature: being able to search for videos by your favorite guest.


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Now playing: Tom Lehrer - The Elements
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Shakespeare: Henry V, Part I

I've decided to read the plays of Shakespeare. The book I have orders them by their assumed chronology. The first up in Henry V, Pt, I. It's nothing special, but there were two good parts: where Joan of Arc blandly summoned and spoke with demons, and when Margaret and the Earl of Suffolk ignore each other and answer in asides instead. (It's funnier in the play.)

PS.
There are several documents which bear Shakespeare's signature, and none of them have the modern spelling of "Shakespeare".

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Now playing: Capcom - Dr. Wily Stage 1
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Colbert Denied

I'm sure you know that Colbert has been denied in his quest to run as the Favorite Son of South Carolina. Although none of this is public, I can tell you what the Democratic Committee was discussing.

Position #1: This is making a mockery of South Carolina.
Position #2: This could bring some attention to South Carolina, and therefore, some money.

I can assure you that no one was concerned about whether he fulfilled the requirements to become a candidate. Which he did. This is a perfect example about how politics is run by insiders instead of the people. Colbert submitted the right form, and the right amount of money, and he had more support than a few of the candidates who will be on the ballot, but he was shot down by some committee members no one has heard of.

And if the Democrats are this corrupt, you can only imagine how bad it must be to run as a Republican.

PS.
If you like Bob Dylan, but don't have his music, I'd suggest his recent album Dylan. It has most of his classic greats.

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Now playing: Beck - Farewell Ride
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