Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children!

It seems like children are surrounded by corrupting influences: video games, movies, television news, and drugs. If only they would go to an opera, or read a novel, then they might turn out all right.

But it turns out that plays and novels are corrupting influences, too. When they first became popular, moralizing critics pointed out, accurately, that they prominently featured violence, infidelity, anti-religious themes, and sass-talk.

In fact, it seems that everything since the stone axe has been bad for humanity:

• Dancing
• Music
• Playing Cards
• Every Religion (Just ask a fanatic of a different religion)
• Gender
• Dice
• Zippers
• Novels
  
• Plays
• Anything that features Magic of any kind (I assume there is an exception for the Bible)
• Role-Playing Games
• Trading Card Games
  
• Video Games
• Pornography (Interesting piece of trivia: Americans spend as much on Pornography as they do on international foreign aid)
  
• Sports
• Communism
• Industrialism
• Capitalism

The strange things about all this, is that the same people who decry these things seem to have little time to attack the things that cause direct harm and deprivation (War, pollution, etc.)