I've been raised on media that's created unrealistic expectations for me. Not just expectations about sex, looks, money, and happiness. I don't care about those things. My problem is the way that media has led me to think that one day, without me doing anything, my life will suddenly hit me. One day, I'll meet a girl, or discover some injustice, or find someone who needs help, and it will be significant to me in a way that is undeniable, and then the adventure part of my life will begin.
I know of injustices, but they're so large, and so abstract, I am paralyzed. I see girls, but I have no idea what to do on that entire scene. I know of lots of people with problems far larger than what I'm complaining about right now, but problems don't appear in the form of something visible, something palpable, something I can fight.
I assume this isn't just my problem. Most of our culture consists of false challenges, things designed to satisfy our desire to create positive change in the world, without actually requiring any effort. I love video games, both as an art form and as personal entertainment, but I would be an infinitely better person if I was allergic to them.
I think about people who have already done things when they are my age, people like Bob Dylan, Teddy Roosevelt, and Albert Einstein, and I suspect they didn't spend the time leading up to their work in meaningless self-indulgence.
With my current approach, I could be capable of doing something good, something meaningful, and no one would ever know.
Anyway, if anyone has a job, or a relationship, or a cause, they want to set me up with, I'm available.
1 comment:
I know what you mean. I feel like something important is going to happen to me and I'm just waiting for it.
-Blomberg
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